Torn

*cue Natalie Imbruglia 'Torn" song"

I am so fucking torn.

I just got home from a night out with the guy I like.

I love Papi... well I think I do... I know he loves me very much. And he just told me that he would get me the fucking $12,000 Panerai watch that i liiiiiikey. In H.K.... Maybe it's not love but guilt? Maybe it's my need for unnecessary luxury.

I hate this feeling.

First Move

Rules in making the 1st move.

Are there any unwritten rules on who should make the 1st move in a meet up? Obviously if you don’t like the guy then there’s nothing to talk about.
Should it be the older guy who should make the 1st move?

Or should it be the hotter guy who makes the 1st move as the other less hot guy might have 2nd thoughts in doing so thinking he’s not worthy?

Or should it be the less hot guy who makes the 1st move as he would have less to lose compared to the hotter guy who as more to lose if he gets rejected?

Why do I think that sometimes guys are more complicated than girls? :p


*art cred by http://mikeocasio.blogspot.com/

Don Revisited

Don works in a hi-end department store as a manager. He’s not exactly good looking but you can classify him as more than average. He has this geeky look, which in a way is endearing. He’s a bit lean but one can see that he works out as he has abs.
Last Saturday was the third time that we had sex since I met him around 6 months ago. He was, as usual, pretty darn good in bed.

We have this relationship wherein we just text each other when we’re horny and when our scheds permit, we meet up and do it.
He came over at almost 2am already- both of us came from night outs. As soon as we enter my room we kiss for the longest time. He moves his tongue gently from my lips to my neck and my ear. While the whole time he’s playing with my nipples. He goes down on my chest and nibbles my nips. He starts licking my balls and shaft. He sucks me and simultaneously jacks me off. I bring his head up and I pin him down- his hands behind his head. I start to kiss and lick his underarms. I start stroking his dick. Incidentally, it’s actually pretty long. I can even say that it’s longer than mine. I start sucking him and he starts moaning. I bring up his legs to lick his glory hole. I French kiss his ass and he starts jacking himself.
I flip him over and start stroking my cock against his ass. I gently slip my cock inside him. I move my hips slowly in a rhythmic motion. I bring up his ass until he’s on fours, doggie style. I start fucking him again until I am near. I stop and then and I lie on my back to rest. He brings up my legs victory style and start entering me. He starts pumping and I am just so turned on looking at his body moving back and forth. He stops too when he’s about to come. I fuck him again; victory style too until I explode on his neatly trimmed chest.

There are just some guys that are good in bed. And he’s definitely one of them.

* I always fuck with a condom on. Took it out before cumming on his chest. Safe sex boys!

Krissy, istachew?

My friend told me that love and career do not mix. Apparently, I am a living, breathing, walking example of that. Oh and Kris Aquino too. Hehe

I have been receiving a lot of opportunities for my supposed new 'career'.

Wish me luck boys and gays. November is the month! I hope everything goes well for me!

I Hate Him x 3!!!

I went to Fitness First in *** to workout that Saturday which is not where I normally go. As I walked to the floor I saw this really hot guy working out- he was a bit short, around 5'6, chinito, fair and his body was soooper gorgeous. Just the right bulk and really chiseled. I didn't really look at him 'cause I was thinking he was probably straight as he didn't even look at me. After my routine I hit the showers and when I went to my locker I see him there changing- lo and behold our lockers were beside each other! I look at him and i caught him looking at me too! OMG his skin is super smooth and normally, I don't like fair chinito guys but he is just so hot!!! We stare eye to eye for around 5 seconds and look away. This happened around four times and on the fourth time, he smiled and I smiled back. Nobody said anything but I really felt the tension... he leaves and he comes back but there was a guard and he just pretends to check his locker if he left something.

I go to the same branch the week after- same day and same time... I see him again in the floor and again, he doesn't look at me. Our lockers were beside each other but this time, he didn't look at me even for a mere second... WTF right?!?!? Is it because he was wearing a bench sando and I was in a burberry sando? Was it because I was wearing my Prada flip flops and he was wearing Spartan flip flops?!?!

I went again today but this time I was determined... I see him again on the floor and I start a conversation with him... asked him about his workout and he just answered as a matter of fact-ly. No smile, no extra talk, nothing. What the hell is wrong I ask myself. I go on with my business and see him take a call. Right after the call he rushes to the lockers and gets out quickly. I take my sweet time as I figured he wasn't there anymore and apparently when I went out of the gym after 30 minutes, he was still outside waiting. Waiting probably for the person who called him. Hmph.

I soo hate him. I hope to see him next Saturday again though. :)

Turning Lesbo

I had a discussion with some friends and I was saying that it's so hard to be gay. Not that I haven't come to terms about my sexuality but do we have a choice to be like this? Is it in our DNA that we like guys? Is there a choice for us not to be gay? I am actually afraid of being old and lonely. I guess this is what most gay people feel or at least have come across at one point or the other.

Obviously its going to be a challenge to get married and remain faithful and not to stray but isn't it just the same with straight guys? I mean the temptation is there for them to fool around with other girls. Ain't it just the same? It's always an effort to remain faithful be it that if you're in a hetero or homo relationship.

Is there a difference between being straight and faithful vs being gay in a straight relationship and be faithful too?

Just a thought...

Going Crazy

GAWD, I just had to get out of the house now. I think I am going crazy (I'm gay, I can be OA).

I feel bad, really.

Sad that I had to let go of someone who doesn't value me. Someone who was leading me on.

Sad that I don't see the purpose of my life. Yet. I work my ass off then what? Maybe because this stems from the fact that I didn't have to work before. Lol.

I think I'm gunna be ok. I just had to get out of the house.


Or maybe I just need more sex.

Trophy Boytoy

I hate this feeling. Papi wants me to join him for a dinner in L'Opera tonight for a meeting with his investment banker from Hk. I feel like a trophy boytoy. Ugh. I said I had a meeting but he said even just for 15 min. Duh.

I guess I just have to do my duties. Sigh.

My Hard Earned Golf Set

I got a call from papi this morning at 7am. Weird... he normally doesn't call this early. He called to say he was horny and wanted to do SOP. I literally laughed at him! I didn't know how to react until i figured out that he was actually serious. Ok, i am a professional here. No need to act the virgin. I give my moans, my ooh and ugghhs until he cums. Done.

Just the other day i was looking at the Taylor Made website and was drooling at the r9's. Just for kicks i clicked on the 'buy' button and put everything- and threw in a couple more stuff like matching golf bag, an umbrella and a pair of adidas shoes in the shopping cart. Total= $1,800++ :(. Definitely something i cannot afford now.

Are you girls thinking of what i'm thinking? Do our dirrrty little minds think alike? This is the perfect timing to make him "want to buy me' what i want!

Really perfect timing- I have a golf game in Sta. Elena on June 12. Can't wait to test drive my new golf set! ;)

Dream. Believe. Survive.

Bwahahaha i can't believe i just said that. That was so ghetto.

Drama Queen

I'm so Lindsay Lohan i swear. Not a has-been, but a drama queen. Last night started out so much fun- i was fucking drunk and i decided to meet up with Tonio Latino after my parties. I went to his place and we started doing it until he wanted to fuck me. I told him no, cause i only get fucked by my bf and not in a situation like this. Besides, we didn't have a condom teehee. But he was so persistent- he was drunk too and it ended up me pushing him away (literally and figuratively) and me walking out.

Tonio Latino 2

Tonio is actually pretty weird. We don't get to really hangout much but we've met like 3-4 times already. We know we like each other but on my part, i'm not sure if i wanna have anything more than what we have now. He's a really nice guy but i dunno... there's something missing. i'm not closing my doors on anything yet but the prob is that he's really into me. i can handle it but apparently i don't think he can- i would get texts at 4am from him saying something like:

i don't think i can see you anymore cause im in love.

then i don't reply (obviously cause i'm in lala land)

in love with you.

and i still don't reply cause (what for?)

hi how are you?

THEN i reply.

i'm not being unfair or nor am i leading him on. i have told him that i do like him, i like hanging out with him but i think he's taking things too fast.

RSC

OMG can i just say, i worked out in Fitness RSC today and it was really bad. No cute guys- all fugly fags. I felt like I was being stripped naked when I was in the lockers... oops i WAS naked. lol!

I saw some stalkers and apparently they saw me too. Got a couple of texts from nameless numbers saying:

ang cute mo naman talaga ______. i saw you in rsc.

hey sup? what are you doing after working out in rsc?

i saw you sa gym, ang hot mo talaga. can i get to know you?


Oh please.

Party List

OMG I actually voted for Ang Ladlad bwahaha I was so scared and praning at the same time but knew I did the right thing. Now I feel so brave.

Does anyone know if they made it or not?

Jejemon

I was chatting with someone over in YM and he showed me his FB... i copy pasted some wall posts of him in our chat window:


hai kuya ..musta po u? good eve..

elow kuya....msta po?

and I said- you have jejemon friends. He replied, 'They're my cousins.' Oops.

then he said 'yeah... i guess im barking the wrong tree'


Jejemon rin siya!

I'm a Copy Cat

I just realized or have just become aware that the title of my blog- well at least the word 'Confessions' has been used a million times already in the blogsphere. This sucks. And I thought I was pretty creative and original. Haha.

I also came across this blogger (who has the same layout, same confessions blah blah title grr) who just charged P500 for a blow job. Damn, that was cheap. And the most he got was P250k. I wouldn't wanna be him. Ever. That's scary.

Probably the difference between us is that he's an escort and I'm a boytoy.

Ok, now I'm not so scared anymore.

Ego Trip

I met a caster from Malaysia in a party last Friday. He asked if I wanted to be a talent- he said that I look very 'commercial' and that I was good looking. I said I think I look too 'Asian' or 'Oriental'. And then he said to quit acting humble cause I know that I look good. I guess I don't have a talent for acting. Hehe He said that he would know. I guess he would. It's his job to know. haha

Telephone

6:38 am, Saturday May 8 2010

Moses: Do you miss me?

Icarus: Hello. Are you drunk again?

Moses: I love you.

Icarus: Where are you?

Moses: Home. Come over. Let's kiss and hug till we fall asleep.

Icarus: Haha it's 6 in the morning. Besides, you only think about me when you're drunk.

Moses: I think about you when I'm drunk but I think about you more when I'm sober. You inspire me to be the best I can be. Oh my God what am I saying. This is gross. -ends call-

Gaga.

Porsche Cayenne

The new Porsche Cayenne is coming to town. See you sugar daddies in the launch!

Tonio Latino

I feel like its been ages since I last had sex when in fact the last time I did was err this morning. Haha ok maybe its not considered sex cause it was with Papi. (yes, this is another story) Before this morning it was, I think- last Wednesday. I probably feel like this cause its been ages since I last had sex with someone really hot- or had hot sex.

Anyways, I met Tonio last Monday but it wasn’t until Wednesday that we met up again to do it. Tonio is Brazilian although he’s pretty short for one- I’m even taller than him and I stand 5’8. He’s not your typical porn looking Latino- he’s almost guapo but just more than normal looking. Nothing outstanding. What I like about him is that he’s really nice- genuinely nice, and his accent- very sexy. It’s not the sexy Brit with a peach in the mouth accent but more of your Chulo gardener macho type of accent. He was a construction worker before he came over to Manila for greener pastures. He’s a bit lean, stopped working out about a year ago. We finish a bucket of beer in a bar and drive off to his place. I have to admit, we were both a bit nervous when we were sitting already on his bed. We start to kiss gently and in the middle of it he stops and tells me- ‘I am uncut ok?’ I almost laughed and just said, ‘I know, its ok’. I actually wanted to say- ‘I think I’ve been around much that nothing surprises me anymore.’ Hehe. So we continue where we left off and honestly I was so curious to see how hung he is. I rub his cock from his jocks and when he had a semi already, I pull down his jocks and start licking his balls and and sucking his cock. When it was hard already I stopped and stared at it… it was thick, but not so long- around a 7 maybe but in comparison, Moses’ cock was longer but his was thicker. Surprisingly tho it smelled good. Not that I was expecting something stinky but he did smell good. His pits, his balls, his cock- it all smelled good. He goes down on me and sucks me pathetically. Haha we end up jacking off beside each other and I just cum on his tummy. Yes, the sex was borderline lousy. I am actually killing time, as I am blogging this as we are going to meet again later tonight. He’s worth giving a 2nd chance.

Kids Nowadays

A good friend of mine is heartbroken. Jeff is (was) dating this kid (and he’s been milking him $$$) for 4 months already and suddenly tells him that he is dating this Singaporean expat in his face - with a pic to boot. Jeff calls me and throws a bitch fit- he devices a plan and I am the bait. We search for the SG guy in facebook. I message him and he replies, after 3 exchanges he gives me his number. We are meeting up tomorrow night. The kid has more to learn in this world. One would be is to never play in my field. ;)

Baby baby baby ooh… like baby baby baby noo… baby baby baby ooh… thought you’d always be mine…

I Hate J

Can i just say? I hate that little fugly twerp! I hate Li'l J!!! She's such a slut and she's so ugly! Go Serena! Hehe

Yes I watch Gossip Girl and I love it! haha

Xoxo

Hot!!!

I'm so proud of myself. Me living without central AC. God it is so HOT! I can't even begin to imagine how people can sleep without AC in the Philippines.

Temp is Rising

Finally someone as hot as the temp outside! I met up with Sean a couple of weeks back in Alabang. We just chit chatted over coffee- he was born in Manila but moved to the Netherlands when he was a kid. Very pinoy moreno looking, cute angelic face with a body of the devil! I actually felt scrawny beside him. I was an inch or 2 taller than him but his arms were 1 and a half times bigger than mine! Typical conversation- what he does here for a living and that his bf is following here for a vacation in the next month or so from back home. No one instigated anything so I just thought ok, this is just a meet up; he has a bf and so be it.

Fast forward to last Sunday, I text him how his weekend was and he replied saying it was pretty boring and he was just at home. I said why not we go out and have coffee or something. He said ok and maybe we can just hangout at his place. I honestly didn’t think of sexy time hehe as I thought he was part of the 1 out of 1,000,000,000 who probably didn’t like me. We hungout in his room, it was just so hot outside and even with the AC in full blast it was a bit warm. He said he’ll just shower for a second and when he came back he was just in shorts without his shirt on and upon seeing him I almost lwt out a screech. He was just so so hot. I take off mine too and we just lay beside each other in bed and just chit chatted the time away. I didn’t wanna make a move cause for one he had a bf and he never gave me any signs or insinuated anything- until he said that he met up with someone 2 weeks ago and they did it, he also said he thinks he needs to trim already. Ok, that’s my cue- I think I don’t need anymore subtle hints. I turn over to him and kissed him, he pushed me back and looks at me in the eye and starts kissing me back. For a split second I thought it was an oops moment. I start giving him the boytoy full service package- I licked his whole body and he started squirming with ecstasy. I bring his legs up and started licking his man hole. Oh yes he likes it. He grabs my head and sits on my face while sucking me. Sean knew what he likes and wanted. He uses the whole bed- moves from one corner to the other like a boxer. We ended with him on his back and I on my side- sucking each other from time to time while we jack off and we both cum on his 6-pack abs.

I think it was just sex- pure sex cause after showering; we were just talking again like nothing happened. Cool. I mean that’s hot.

Ugly Boys

Seriously, sometimes, the ugly guys get lucky too. Marc invited me to his place cause he invited this guy who according to him, looked like a construction worker with an 8-inch cock. I was bored (ok, and horny too) and Marc assured me that the guy looks good. I go over to Marc’s and I see the guy. Damn, he is really ugly. Ok, I might be exaggerating a bit but he is ugly. I was at the edge of the bed then Marc started sucking him off. OMG- he was fucking big. I just got too curious and I strip naked and shoved his face to my cock while I jacked him off. He wanted to kiss but- hell no! I don’t want his face anywhere near mine. I made him go on all fours like an animal and shoved my cock down his throat. I made him lay on his back and started jacking him off again while he and Marc were sucking me. When he was ready to cum I aimed my cock to his mouth and we both came at the same time. Him on his navel while me, well he enjoyed my man-juice down to the last drop. Marc was being a voyeur and came as soon as we were done.

I am beginning to sound like a size queen in my stories huh? Haha damn!

Definition of a FUBU Please?

What does a FUBU really mean? Does it mean that you guys are exclusive with each other minus the emotional baggage of being in a relationship? Or does it mean that you guys are just, well, fucking? There is this guy who brings it to the next level. He even calls me ‘Buddy’. Buddy short for Fuck Buddy.

M: Hey buddy! How was your weekend?
I: Pretty lame, didn’t get laid.
M: Oh, are you looking for another guy? Just tell me, its ok.
I: As a matter of fact, yes and why would it matter if I am?
M: I thought we were fuck buds.
I: Yes, we do have sex but are you assuming that we are exclusive to each other? Aren’t you supposed to be involved with someone even?
M: Well, yeah but I thought that would mean exclusivity…
I: What’s the point of being FUBU’s then? Might as well be in a relationship including the emotional baggage and drama…
M: Well I thought you said you don’t want a relationship? I’m sorry but I’m dating someone exclusively already…

(I scroll up my window, searching if I said something that might be mis-interpreted as – I love you and I want you, please be mine and only mine)
I: Yes, I don’t want a relationship with you.

Next Time

After numerous exchanges of I love you’s and I miss you’s with Moses, in the past few weeks, I have decided to put an end to it- an end to the insane, roller coaster emotional craziness that has been going on between us. I cannot even define what we have- are we even friends to begin with? He doesn’t even know my fucking name and he says he loves me. What’s in a name? Am I being too trivial? Is it my fault if I want the guy who tells me he loves me to match our names with the ‘FLAMES’ game? And to cheat by using different spellings or using nick names when the results derive ENEMIES or FRIENDS? Haha! Am I just a constant trick? Why does he need to tell me he loves me if he just wants my cock? Quit that bullshit and just tell me straight out- ‘Please be there when my man pussy is itchy cause I think you fuck great!’ I would appreciate that more and will gladly oblige. I’m a boytoy for crying out loud.

I am so glad I have told him to fuck off. In a much more diplomatic manner, of course. With the usual why’s and then the answers but minus the drama, I have finally said-

‘Let’s just hang out sometime next time.’

I Love Dessert!

So I had a conversation with Alain.




Alain: all you think about is ‘dessert’!

Icarus: well, what else is there to think about? What do you have in mind?

Alain: I want us to have dinner, talk, movie- get to know each other.

Icarus: Oh.

My Life April 2010

I feel that my life is at the point where I am on a bridge walking towards my destination. Albeit a golden bridge, if I may say, considering my current condition. This journey has its highs and lows, which I can only hope that the bridge is not too long. I am walking blindly but with firm steps towards the end until I can walk on solid ground again- and stand on my own two feet (in my Gucci loafers).

Surprise Guests

Last Tuesday, a ‘couple friend’ invited me to his graduation party cum orgy. We were 5 in total and they said that they were waiting for one more guy to join. So as we were drinking and probably trying to get relaxed – the other guy comes. OMG- shock of my life. It was somebody I was seriously dating 5 years ago. I saw his face and he looked like he wanted to cover his face and run. Haha. He eventually sat beside me and we did our small talk and when the ‘event’ began, we started kissing and touching each other but I guess it was still awkward and the host kinda noticed it so he got this cutie guy who I just fucked the whole night and did not mind anyone else. I guess I was a pretty bad orgy group mate. Hehe.

The real twist of the story happened when the night culminated for me. The next day, the host texted me to say that I should have stayed on cause there was this hot guy who had a really big cock who followed- according to him, the guy fucked the same guy who I fucked the whole night and to which I find out, his name is… guess who? Moses! Hahahah!

Birds of the same feather really do fuck together. Hehe.

Walley sa Boracay

I have been consistent with my Boracay holidays. Meaning, I have never hooked up let alone met any (hot and gay) guy in Boracay. Are all the stories I hear of Boracay being an island of hedonistic life just a marketing tactic for guys like me to go?

I was in Paraw last night and yes, I would have to say when I passed-by shirtless, people were staring- but where the hell were the supposed hot guys?!?!

I'm not saying that I'm too good for them... but actually, I am! Haha!

Freaks of Nature

How come most of the guys I meet are freaks of nature?

Moses, yes he is in the picture again like a fungus infection that can't be cured, texted me this morning -'i love you'. I wasn't even done digesting what he texted and he calls me apologizing for what he just sent and instead, says that he really really likes me. Err ok, that may be a possibility but at least it was a lot more believable compared to what he texted. He told me to text him later tonight, so I did, and guess what? I don't get a reply. Haha!

Alain on the other hand thinks he's Maria Clara reborn. I told him to come over and he replies that he'll just shower, an hour goes by and I decide to go grab lunch instead. He asks me where I am and decides to follow. If I wanted to have lunch with him, I would have invited him. A booty call is so not a lunch date.

Boracay

Boracay is not the same anymore.. the sand, the water, the buildings, the people, the shore and the food...

Barney

Here’s a story about how an associate of mine ‘outed’ himself to the office.

Officemate 1: Tina, kamukha mo si Hello Kitty!

Officemate 2: Eh kung ako si Hello Kitty, sino ka?

Officemate 1: Ako si Barney, ang baklang dinosaur!


Hahaha!

Stalker

There's a fucking freak who's been messaging people in Planetromeo asking them if they're me. As in explicitly stating my whole name! I hope he gets run over by a truck. Twice.

How To Be Detached

After doing it with Marc, I hung out for awhile in his room cause we were waiting for his sis to leave before I can go out without being seen- he said something that I found really ironic. He started telling me about his love life, that he was dating this guy- seriously dating this guy. How he feels that he’s his destiny. How he wants to make everything right with him. What the hell did we do if he was seriously dating someone? Haha I told him that he was technically cheating on him and his reply was: I’m doing it with you so I won’t be too much into him. Makes sense. In a twisted, ironic, fucked up way.

Bicol

I was in Bicol over the weekend and I got to meet up with someone courtesy of Planetromeo. We had a nice chat- even before we met up I already knew it wasn’t gunna be a booty call. Just a good conversation, he was the most decent guy who left me a message hence I decided to meet up. I asked him if there were any hot or at least cute local guys. His answer- ‘There are a few, but you’d have a REALLY hard time looking for guys in your league.’ Aww. Hehe

Random Ramblings

As the age-old question goes: would you go for the one you love or for the one who loves you?

In my case, its more like would you go for the one who loves you or no one at all. Haha should you go for someone who you know really loves you and who would really take care of you? Someone who has plans for you- both short term (car, condo etc) and long term (business etc)

It sucks to be me. Its so hard to live life with a budget.

So hard to just shop in Zara and never even dare go in Paul Smith anymore.

Hello Villamor with the caddies as thieves, goodbye Manila Golf with the players as thieves. haha

My passport hasn’t been stamped with a visa for the longest time.

So embarrassing to turn right instead of left when I board the plane.

Such is life.

If it weren't for my situation now I guess I wouldn't be a whore. Just a slut... like Mcvie. hahahaha. :)

Banking with Metrobank

I’ve been texting with this guy I met online for a few weeks already and it wasn’t until tonight that we finally decided to meet. We met at midnight along a usually busy street by day, in the parking lot of Metrobank.

He was ok- average to say the least but very straight looking. We said our hello’s and he suggested that we move to the darker part of the parking lot behind a parked AUV as he might be seen by his friends or any one who knows him.

When I was walking and was behind the AUV already he suddenly grabbed me and started kissing me. He was a pretty good kisser. He started rubbing his crotch against mine. He started caressing my chest and slid his hand under my shirt and started playing with my nips. I felt him get hard- and so was I. Our bodies were rubbing against each other. He moved his head towards my chest and started licking my nips under my shirt. He un-buttoned my shorts and started sucking… I reciprocated and did the same. We were leaning against the AUV- I was half excited half nervous. He said he wanted to cum so we started jacking off. We came together- all over the parking lot ground. The situation was just so kinky. If it wasn’t for the right time and (wrong) right place, I wouldn’t have done it with him. That was hot.

Thanks pare. Sa uulitin.

Ayt, ingats dude.

Rain

Mcvie... Do i? hahahahaha

Boracay Bound...

Going to Boracay soon... can't wait to leave Manila! I deserve a break with so much stress from work (and life hehe).

I have to prepare for my Boracay body. New workout regimen:

MWF - Gym.

T TH Sun - Sex.

So far so good. Hehe

Feeling Bob Ong.

I don't believe in compromising. I believe in understanding. When you compromise, you do it against your will; when you understand you do it wholeheartedly.

The Choice

So, obviously I took the 1^st choice in the menu… (highly recommended by a lot of guys I'm sure) and went over to Moses’ place ‘cause he finally texted and invited me over. Geesh. Where is my pride? Haha

Once inside his room we didn’t wait anymore and started kissing- I could feel his large cock getting hard. And when I say large, I mean large! ;) He pulls me to the bed and he shoves my head down his cock. After choking a couple of times I hear him say ‘fuck me, fuck me now’.

I grab the rubber on the side table- hmm different brand from the last time we fucked. I fuck him missionary until I cum. He tells me that it hurts- such a poor actor that Moses guy…

We go to bed cuddling until we fall asleep…

The night was too short and I had to wake up early for a meeting.

While I was in the kitchen preparing my breakfast and Moses was still in bed sleeping, I see his phone lying on the counter… should I or shouldn’t I?...

**********************************************************************************

My heart was beating fast. I have NEVER checked someone else’s phone. Well at least not that I remember. Hehe. I click on the main button… open the inbox and sent items…

‘Hey baby are you ok? J How come you’re not replying?’

‘Hey babe sorry not feeling so well. I’m calling it a night. Love you.’

‘Ok I love you so much I hope you feel better soon. Good night. J’

-conversation with the ex bf. Well I guess not so ex anymore. Haha.

I feel so much relief. Para akong natanggalan ng tinik. Now I know what is really going on. No more second-guessing. No more why’s. No more maybe ‘He’s just not that into me shit.’

I finish my breakfast and he comes in the kitchen.

‘Hey I got you your fave Oliver’s sandwich for your lunch later.’

‘No thanks, I’m ok.’

‘You sure? Ok then, you have a nice day at work.’

‘Thanks, sweetheart.’

Then I open the door, go out of his pad- smiling from ear to ear.

Menu for Tonight

Tonight's menu consists of a variety of selection. Some are more sweet to the taste while some leaning towards the bitter but no matter the choice, any of them will make a delectable meal.

~Sleep over at Moses as planned during mid-week (but still no text or call from him and I am definitely NOT reminding him of his invitation)~

~Meet up with this really hot err looking guy with a killer body~

~Threesome with this guy I met before- inviting me for some fun with his supposed hot friend~

~Have dinner with this doctor-son of a politician dude~

~Practice Bad Romance dance at home (just kidding)~

Bon Appetit!

Masochist

I think I’m masochistic.

Not that kinky kind of masochistic, you perverts. I was secretly hoping that some asshole named Moses will drunk dial me again at 5am to wake me up at an ungodly hour just to tell me how much he misses me and how much he likes me.

I’m pissed off at him not because of what he’s doing but at what he’s not doing.

On the other hand, I just hope he stops everything. I can easily do that- except that I have to vent it out to my friends. Constantly. Haha but give me a week or 2 and I’m over it.

Hopefully.

Masochist

I think I’m masochistic.

Not that kinky kind of masochistic, you perverts. I was secretly hoping that some asshole named Moses will drunk dial me again at 5am to wake me up at an ungodly hour just to tell me how much he misses me and how much he likes me.

I’m pissed off at him not because of what he’s doing but at what he’s not doing.

On the other hand, I just hope he stops everything. I can easily do that- except that I have to vent it out to my friends. Constantly. Haha but give me a week or 2 and I’m over it.

Hopefully.

The Bar

I just got home from a trick and what’s weird is that I feel like I still wanna do someone agin. I think my testerone level is pretty high tonight. Haha.

Rewind to last night.

I was at the bar and my friend Anton was macking this guy. Cute and chunky. The guy turned him down though saying that he was with his bf- who was actually standing behind him holding his hand. Anton is such a freak. Haha I was minding my own business when I saw the guy checking me out. Hmm he was smiling and making pa-cute. I signal him to follow me to the bathroom. He follows and gives me his number. Too bad for Anton.

Fast forward to Saturday night.

I go to his pad in SOMA at the Fort. Turns out Sid is based in London and is just on a vacation- good, no baggage to get rid off after the sex. We go straight to the deed and I like his size. More than average and thick. What I didn’t like though was it took him soo long to cum. I couldn’t hold it anymore longer so I came in his mouth and BAM, he cums.

I met him at 10 pm and I left his pad at 1 am. I had my clothes off longer than I was wearing it. Haha.

I Kissed a Girl

Cue: I Kissed a Girl by Katy Perry

I was so drunk last night i kissed a girl! Not a girl, girl but a tranny. Haha

Last night was so much fun until that fucking Moses showed up. I texted him prior to that and he didn't even reply then I see him at the bar after. He even had the nerve to ask me why I was being a snob to him that night. Duh. How can people be so dumb? Ignorant? Insensitive?

Or am I just being a drama queen?

Anyways, aside from the cute guy I met, the highlight was still me kissing that 'girl'... Haha

Complicated

Its funny how girls would always say that guys are so complicated. I would have to agree on this as I date guys too. Its been exactly a week since I last heard from Moses- last time was when we watched a movie, falling asleep snuggling. A whole week without a call nor a text- up until this morning; at the ungodly hour of 4:30am. He called and I pick up and he says he’s really drunk. Tells me that he misses me so much and that he wants to kiss me. I just say I miss him too, which I really do. Then he tells me he loves me. And I tell him he’s drunk. Waaay to drunk. We put the phone down and he texts me around 11am asking me how I am, I say I’m ok and how about him- he says he’s still drunk. Then he says ‘I kinda miss you… does that weird you out?’ I go- not really, cause I miss you too; What’s weird is that you professing to me that you love me when you called. Hahaha he doesn’t remember. Last exchange of messages was 12:16pm. I haven’t heard from him since and its 11:54pm now. Guys are so complicated. I rest my case.

El Nino

I feel like I haven’t had sex for the longest time. Last sex I had was probably mid-week last week. Work has been so tiring and I guess I haven’t met anyone interesting lately. The guy I met was just average. I guess he was just really persistent and he wasn’t that ugly. His confidence level was way up there too- he would pertain to himself in his stories as ‘us, the good looking ones blah blah’. Excuse me; we are so not in the same league- I don’t have a big tomato nose to begin with. Haha He wanted to go to a motel but I just wanted to it get over with. We just did it in the car. Surprisingly, he’s a good kisser and had a nice dick. Not that long but pretty thick. What I didn’t like about him was that he smelled poor. I dunno how I can describe it- I dunno if its from his clothes or from his hair? Smells of cheap apartment or boarding house- or worse, bed spacer. I’m so bad I talk like I still live in our penthouse. Haha.

Cuddling and Snuggling

Do you cuddle and snuggle after sex even if it's just a trick? I personally just fuck and go if I know it's just sex. I think if you cuddle after sex it would mean something more than that... but I guess that's just me.

I guess some people do still cuddle and snuggle even though its just meaningless sex.

At least I got to fuck the freak.

Moses 2

What the hell was I talking about... the guy didn't even text me today. haha

Oh well... NEXT!

Me

Moses

I like Moses- we have a great time, have fun and I like his sense of humor- and he can be serious when needed. Sex is great- totally compatible when it comes to that part.

Problem is- we could be great friends- or great fubus. We're both obnoxious to each other and that's where the problem begins. When it comes to dating guys, I'm used to someone who treats me like a prince(ss). I'm used to guys at my beck and call. I'm used to guys showering me with everything. And he's NOT like that. Not at all. Do you think I just forget about having something more with him and just wait till this expires? Relationships need work, I know that but this will need huge adjustments I guess on my side. How do you know if a person is worth adjusting to what you're used to and what you're looking for? Sigh.

Yahoo Chat

Guy: Bakit nung nagmeet tayo di tayo nag sex?

Icarus: Duh...

Bob O.

"Mas madali ngumiti kahit hindi ka masaya kesa ipaliwanag mo sa buong mundo kung bakit ka malungkot"

-Bob Ong

Bob O. ain't bobo pala after all hehe

Johnson and Johnson Heir Dead

Casey Johnson is dead... who?!?! haha that was my initial reaction though but after reading her story I kinda felt sad. Poor little rich girl (dike) who got lost somewhere along the way. Couldn't handle the stress of too much money. When she adopted a kid she said that she wouldn't spoil her like how she was spoilt.

Damn, reminded me of how it was. Gay, rich, spoiled, drugs, parties etc. (well at least her family still has TONS of $$$, on the other hand, at least I'm still breathing hehe)

I'm never the type who would have regrets but if I could change 1 thing in the past; it would be that I wish I knew how to save. My mom would say- she was able to bring us up pretty well, the only thing she didn't teach us was how to be frugal...

My Papi

FYI to my legion of followers out there hehe- I haven't mentioned this but there's no more papi and I. I decided to call it quits a couple of months ago. it was too stressful already. We weren't meeting eye to eye on a lot of things. Am I sad? Hmm... disappointed maybe but sad... not really. It was fun while it lasted. He gave me a Christmas gift tho- a super slick Dior Homme suit. Would've preferred a William Fioravanti or a Kiton though. Oh well.

Wow what can I say more about what happened...? Can't think of anything else to say.

Lady Gaga loves flowers!

I luuurve Lady Gaga! haha

I've been trying to figure out how to post the freakin video for 5 min already. Pota, link na nga lang! Click me.

Since you're gay then chances are you've seen the vid already. hehe

fuck this shit!!!

Could not contact Blogger.com. Saving and publishing may fail. Retrying...

Planet Romeo

I'm sure every gay blog here from Manila has mentioned planet romeo at least once. ok twice. (and guys4men a million times)

Every time I log in and out- same thoughts run thru my mind- wala nanaman ok. What keeps me going back? If I'm there then I'm sure there's someone out there like me too. hehe

Gay blogs (part1)

I was browsing thru some local personal gay blogs and ...damn... they're all so well written...

http://mcvie5.blogspot.com/

http://discreetmanilablog.blogspot.com/

http://planetcloset.blogspot.com/

http://junlana.blogspot.com/

... to name a few.

save for a couple of blogs that I cringe while reading. Calling the grammar (and spelling) police! Help!!!

Marathons

Just an observation... how come every gay guy i know joins the marathon? Is there a secret grand eb going on that i'm missing here?

Chicken house

I had to drive my dad today as apparently we let go of our driver cause we couldn’t afford one anymore. I was bored out of my wits waiting for them to finish. Good thing there was this waiter who was checking me out- not that cute but what the heck, I was bored. He was a bit chubby and *eek* he has colored hair. Although it didn’t look gay it looked a bit off. I licked and bit my lips every time he’d look at my direction. I would adjust my crotch when he’d look. I went outside to smoke and he comes following giving me a piece of paper. I didn’t even bother to look at the paper. Haha

Christmas gifts

Christmas holiday was a blast.

Brent on the 23^rd

Mico on the 25^th

Mark on the 25^th, evening

Glenn on the 26^th oops. Yes, that same Glenn haha

Harry on the 30th

And looking forward to Jan 4 for Moses.

Entries

If you’re wondering why my entries seem to be in batches, its because my beautiful MAC doesn’t have a matching internet connection to go with it.

Fetishes

I have an old friend who just came back from Toronto. He moved there with his wife and his son Enzo some 4 -5 years ago. First time I met Rich he was really good looking – did a TVC for Pepsi, Moreno with really nice teeth. Last time we saw each other was around a year ago-he gained at least 30 lbs. Tabachoy- but still guapo. I get a text from him saying he’s back for good and asks if I wanted to meet up in Eastwood. We meet up, have coffee and lousy Pistachio Sansrival in Coffee Bean. Then he asks if I wanted to see his unit in Eastwood- sure why not? We enter the 1 bedroom unit, we strip like crazy and we kiss torridly. We jump in bed and we hump each other- dry sex. Last year when we met up he didn’t wanna suck me but this time he did. Sarap. We continue rubbing against each other. We roll around the bed, the whole time dry fucking each other. Our cocks rubbing against each other and suddenly he cums. I jack him off until the last drop. I didn’t cum though. Just in case I meet up with someone else that night. Now that I think about it, I never got the chance to check his unit out. hehe

I find it weird when some people don’t have fetishes. More like corny- maybe not weird. Is it because they don’t know what turns them on? Are they too conscious about what their fuck bud, gf, bf, wife or husband might think of them? I myself have a couple actually. One of my first fetish experiences was courtesy of Rich. First time we did it in his place some 8 years ago, he suddenly lunged at the foot of the bed and started sucking my toes. Damn that was hot. Of course, I being ever adventurous do the same to him. Oh I like underarms too- I like the hairiness just right. Not too thick not too thin. I like licking them and smelling them. I don’t like ‘fat’ underarms though if you know what I mean- yun may hotdog sa kilikili. Hairy guys actually turn me on. Specially chest hair and that oh so sexy happy trail. Yummy.

Papi on the other hand likes it rough. I give it to him rough. I find it exciting smothering and rubbing my cock and balls on his face. I use my cock to slap his face. I spit in his mouth. This makes him so hot. I pull his hair when I thrust my cock into his mouth. This actually turns me on too- I like playing it rough to powerful men- rich men, politicians and yes, the big muscled men (even though they only look powerful :p). I tried it one time to this guy who’s twin I fucked too- but it just didn’t work. He was too pretty boy looking- I felt like I was abusing him more than I was enjoying myself. I like the feeling that they’re under my mercy. Well according to Mo Twister in his morning show- that’s the power of the Vagine. (In my situation, it’s the power of the Cockine).